Need A Chat

Am waiting time to pass... as this morning only I saw the sms from Zhi saying that we're going to uni at later time...

I find it hard to fall asleep again last night... Hate the feeling... Have you ever try before, physically tired, but wake up in the midnight in a sudden, and take a long time to fall asleep again?

I just realised that uni life isn't easy at all... not because of the tonnes of assignment or test... It's because of the changes of things around you, changes in the people, changes in your life... You may want things happen as simple as you think, and of course you wish everything goes according to you, but in my case, it'll just never happen.

I have a family who never trust me, never trust my decision... Can you imagine living in such environment for 20years? Can you imagine the feeling that, you never lie to them, but they just don't trust you again & again? I wanted to respect them, I always hear a saying in Chinese: "all parents love their children", I agree! But what about this: "no children are born to hate their parents"?

I've seen so many parents in BB, and I feel that their children are so fortunate, to have such caring & supportive parents... I believe my parents till now still don't know what the 4 stripes and the President's Badge on my arms are about. I did explain to them before, but they seemed didn't even care... Is this world all about money? YES! I start to believe, money is the root of all problem, I wish to go for a debate on this topic now.

In BB, I start slacking like I never do before... worse than the time I used to be a private. I miss the challenging senior section very much, but when can I go back? And senior section is so disappointing at the moment, not talking about the competition results, but the attitude... Oh well, brader Jason is coming back to town in a short moment... Perhaps.. oh not the right word... I'm 'SURE' that he will be able to give more motivation to both me & BB...

Other aspects like friends, studies, not talking about love/relationship which is null, everything is in a mess to me now... Perhaps the perfectionist in me plays a big part in this... I can't imagine that I actually spent such a short time to type all these out... Right, I should leave the house now...

I need a chat... a long chat with God